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Student life-after you start

How to deal with university as an introvert

Starting university can be tough for introverts, with the pressure to be sociable, outgoing and to join in.

STARTING UNIVERSITY UNDERGRADUATE

Philip Circuit 01 Nov 2023

Bookmark article

Know your strengths and embrace them
Let go of the idea that you're missing out
Don’t feel pressured into attending social events
Try and organise your own small gatherings
Make a close friend and stick together
Don't avoid your lecturers
Accept yourself

Being an introvert at university can be tough. You're surrounded by people who seem to thrive on social interaction, while you're perfectly content spending time alone. You may feel like you're missing out on all the fun, or that you're not fitting in. But there are plenty of ways for introverts to succeed in university. The key is to find ways to cope with the social demands of university life and to embrace your unique strengths.

Know your strengths and embrace them

As an introvert your idea of a good time may not be huge social gatherings, especially with lots of new people. But you’ll have plenty of strengths that can help you be sociable in a different way; such as being a good listener, being thoughtful and introspective, and being able to focus deeply on a task. The key is to identify your social strengths and use them to your advantage. For example, if you're a good listener, offer to help people on your course to study by listening to them practice their presentations. Or, if you're thoughtful and introspective, share your insights with your classmates in group discussions. You can still make a connection and make new friends without huge parties.

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Let go of the idea that you're missing out

Your introverted nature may cause you to feel like you're missing out. If you avoid big events, hearing your classmates or flat mates talking about them could leave you feeling like an outsider. If you start to feel this way, there’s a few things you should remember:

It's okay to say no to things and to prioritise your own needs.
It's impossible to do everything and make everyone happy at university.
It's important to prioritise your needs and interests
It’s good to follow your own path and find your own tribe.
You won’t be the only person on campus that doesn’t love parties and crowds.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, take some time for yourself to recharge.

Don’t feel pressured into attending social events

Introverts will often feel pressured into attending social events, especially at university where the expectations to socialise and try new things will be high. However, it is important to remember that you do not have to go to any event that you do not want to go to. Your mental and emotional well-being is more important than any social gathering.

Here are some tips on how to deal with the pressure to attend social events:

Be honest with yourself

If you know that you are not going to enjoy a social event, don't go. It is better to be honest with yourself and others than to force yourself to go to something that you will not enjoy.

Be assertive

If someone is pressuring you to go to a social event, politely decline. You can say something like, "I appreciate you inviting me, but I'm not feeling up to going this time."

Set boundaries

It is important to set boundaries with your friends about your social needs. Let them know that you enjoy spending time with them, but that you also need time to yourself.

Try and organise your own small gatherings

If you don't like the idea of going to large social gatherings, why not organise your own small get-togethers with a few friends? This could be anything from a movie night to offering to cook a dinner.

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Make a close friend and stick together

Making a close friend and sticking together is important for everyone, but it can be especially helpful for introverts in university. Having a close friend can provide emotional support, help you navigate the social world, and make the university experience more enjoyable. Try and find people who have similar interests and passions as you. This could be someone in your classes, or a club or society that you may have an interest in. Once you've found someone you have common interests with, start spending time together and get to know each other better. It's good to have a close friend who will understand you and how you feel about big social occasions.

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Don't avoid your lecturers

Your lecturers are there to help you succeed. If you need help with your coursework, or if you're struggling to cope with the social demands of university, don't be afraid to reach out to them. It may feel daunting to go and speak to a new person, but it will be better in the long run to explain that you're an introvert and you may find social aspects on the course more difficult.

Talk to your tutors about group work and presentations

Let your tutors know that you may struggle struggling with the social aspects of group work and presentations. Be specific about your concerns, such as whether you are worried about speaking up in group meetings or whether you are feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work that needs to be done. You can ask them for specific advice on how to deal with speaking up in group meetings or how to manage your time effectively when working on a group project.

Accept yourself

Embrace your unique personality and strengths, don’t try to be someone you're not.

Learn about introversion.

The more you understand about introversion, the more you will be able to accept yourself for who you are. There are many resources available online and in libraries that can teach you about introversion.

Identify your strengths

Introverts have many strengths, such as deep thinking, creativity, and empathy. Make a list of your strengths and focus on them.

Set realistic expectations

Don't expect to be the life of the party or to enjoy every social event, Introverts need time to recharge after social interaction.

Find your people

Surround yourself with people who understand and respect your social needs. These are the people who will make you feel comfortable and accepted and who will not pressure you to go to events that you do not want to go to.

Remember, you do not owe anyone an explanation for why you do not want to attend a social event, but you do owe yourself the chance to become part of uni life and make the most of your experience. Your time is valuable, and you should spend it doing things that you enjoy.